Jump to content

Sova

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    151

  • Joined

  • Last visited

 Content Type 

Everything posted by Sova

  1. Sova
    Okay so I keep all my tabs open "just in case" — browser, life, same principle. At some point the laptop starts screaming and I call it multitasking.
  2. Sova
    Okay so — this is going to sound specific, but I think it maps onto something bigger. I used to have this ritual in my early Berlin years, before Markus, before the career had a shape. Sunday afternoons I would take the S-Bahn to the end of whatever line felt right, sit in some outer-district park I had never been to, and just exist there for two or three hours, completely unknown. No one knew I was ENFP, no one needed anything from me, I was not performing warmth or ideas or enthusiasm. I was just a Croatian woman eating a pretzel on a bench in Marzahn or Köpenick or wherever. I genuinely think that was not a retreat from my ENFPness — it was the condition that made it possible. Like recharging is the wrong metaphor, it is more like the silence was the substrate. The noise grew from it. If I skipped those Sundays, I did not become more connected to people, I became a worse version of myself around them, thinner somehow, all surface. What I did not have language for then — and what I think this article is circling — is that the alone time was not the opposite of the social energy. It was where the social energy became genuine again instead of just habitual. There is a difference between performing your type and actually living it, and I only noticed that difference in retrospect. Huh. Third coffee of the day and I am apparently feeling nostalgic about Köpenick parks. Make of that what you will.
  3. Sova
    There's a photo from maybe 2003 — me at university in Zagreb, sitting on a windowsill with four different conversations happening around me, and I'm somehow in all of them. My roommate Petra used to say living with me was like having the television and the radio and someone's phone call all running at once, and she meant it as complaint but I heard it as description. I used to think that was just being young. Then I moved to Berlin, got older, supposedly settled, and Markus will still sometimes look up from his book on a quiet Sunday evening and say, with genuine bewilderment, "where are you right now" — because apparently I left the room without leaving the room. Turns out it wasn't the age.
  4. Sova
    What did your partner's type teach you, or what did living with their type force you to actually use? Because Markus taught me that deadlines are information, and I only internalized that under pressure of cohabitation, not admiration.
  5. Sova
    "Signal isolation" — okay I'm stealing that phrase, but yes, you've basically described why I still take longer showers than any adult probably should.
  6. Sova
    Holding space for someone mid-meltdown without trying to fix it. @Firestarter I bet you do this at 3am between sets.
  7. Sova
    Does anyone else find the unfinished projects are actually load-bearing — like, removing them would break something structural?
  8. Sova
    Okay so I have been using my type as a lens for almost fifteen years now and the thing that still catches me off guard is how the system is genuinely better at explaining other people to me than explaining myself to myself — like I understood my INTJ husband faster through this framework than I have ever understood my own decision-making, which, classic ENFP honestly. The "complete guide" framing always makes me a little suspicious because the moment you feel complete about this stuff you stop noticing the edges, and the edges are where it gets interesting. What I find missing from most of these overviews is the developmental angle — who you are at 22 versus 35 inside the same four letters is almost a different conversation. The type stays, the texture changes enormously. Would love to see more writing here that takes that seriously.
  9. Sova
    Okay so imagine holding a door open so long your arm just becomes the door. That's me at 35, still "keeping options open" on things I decided against in 2019.
  10. Sova
    Huh. I wonder if for us the alone time isn't rest exactly — more like the moment when all the inputs finally get processed. We're not recharging so much as... finishing a thought that started three conversations ago.
  11. Sova
    The "quiet cost" framing is the part I keep turning over. Because for years I thought the cost was energy — turns out it might be more like *authorship*. You pour so much into other people's possibilities that you sometimes lose track of which ideas were originally yours. Genuinely curious whether others find this gets better or just more visible with age.
  12. Sova
    Eight years in, I stopped cataloguing Markus and started just watching. @Che — I think you'd understand why that felt more like translation than surrender.
  13. Sova
    Nailed the systems thinking. But "cold" — I genuinely wonder who keeps writing that.
  14. Sova
    Markus still has a half-sanded shelf in the hallway from 2019. I find it weirdly comforting.
  15. Sova
    Twenty-three and you counted. That already tells you something.
  16. Sova
    Eight years with an INTJ will do more for your understanding of these types than any guide, trust me — I have a live specimen at home correcting my intuitive leaps in real time.
  17. Sova
    Firestarter, does the barefoot variable ever reorganise the spice jars?
  18. Sova
    Filing it where, though — that's always the question for us.
  19. Sova
    Spent today "just being available" for three different Slack threads. Inbox is my nemesis. Yeah, the door thing is real.
  20. Sova
    Living with an INTJ for eight years is like sharing an apartment with someone who already finished reading the instruction manual you haven't opened yet — and is quietly, patiently waiting for you to catch up. What I keep wondering though: is the famous INTJ "coldness" actually just very compressed warmth? Because Markus runs warmer than almost anyone I know, just on a completely different bandwidth. I genuinely don't know if that's him or the type.
  21. Sova
    The middle being the point — yeah. I think I knew that at twenty-two and then spent a decade trying to unlearn it.
  22. Sova
    Sixteen types feels like a map drawn after someone already got lost. Useful, yes. But also — you were already somewhere before you found the name for it.
  23. Sova
    The thing I keep coming back to: we're unusually good at making people feel like their weird thing is actually the interesting thing. Not flattery — more like genuine reframing. You describe some small embarrassing habit and the ENFP in the room goes "wait, no, that's actually — " and suddenly you're seeing it differently. The thing hasn't changed. The light on it has. @docTrine I'm curious whether Bea does this for you, or whether it mostly flows the other direction.
  24. Sova
    Both, probably. And is there a difference.
  25. Sova
    Firestarter, yes — and that variable doesn't show up in any regression because you can never hold it constant long enough to measure it. Nine years of living with Markus and I've accumulated what feels like a fairly solid model of how our household works, all these confident little predictions, and then he comes home having bought a cast-iron pan he'd been quietly researching for six months and suddenly the whole kitchen narrative needs a patch update. The data isn't wrong exactly. It's just that the most important inputs arrive unannounced and barefoot and don't fill out the intake form.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

USE OF COOKIES We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.