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Firestarter

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Everything posted by Firestarter

  1. Firestarter
    Just got back from a long ride and this hit different. The cost is real, man.
  2. Firestarter
    Staying put was my best energy decision and worst creative one. Both true at the same time, man.
  3. Firestarter
    Okay so I've been thinking about INTJs since I read this and I can't stop. I work sound at a venue and we had this one regular — came in alone every Thursday for like four months to catch whoever was playing. Never talked much. Then one night I'm troubleshooting a feedback loop mid-set and this guy just walks up to me, points at the monitor wedge, says "that one's out of phase." Correct. Immediately. He'd been watching long enough to figure it out and waited for the exact moment it mattered to say something. That's the thing about INTJs that I think gets undersold — it's not that they're cold, it's that they're patient in a way that almost feels inhuman to me as an ENFP. I process out loud. I'm working through ideas in real time, dragging people along with me. An INTJ already ran the whole circuit before they opened their mouth. Honestly I find that kind of terrifying and kind of beautiful at the same time. Like a quiet engine that's been running the whole time you thought the room was silent. What I'd push back on slightly is the framing that they don't care about people. That guy at the venue? He knew everyone's name. He just wasn't gonna perform connection for you. Real talk, there's something almost more genuine about that than how I operate — I can be warm in a way that's also just... noise sometimes. Anyway. Good piece. Made me want to go call my INTJ friend and ask him what he actually thinks about me, which is a terrifying prospect!
  4. Firestarter
    Mediator feels right, but man, some INFPs I know would sooner burn the bridge than mediate it.
  5. Firestarter
    Honestly, reading through this made me think about something I haven't in a while. I spent years convinced I was an ENTP because I tested that way at seventeen and just... wore it. Then I turned twenty-two and something shifted. Got quieter about it. Retested, actually sat with the questions this time, and ENFP fit so much better it was almost embarrassing. Point being — these frameworks are only as useful as the honesty you bring to them.
  6. Firestarter
    Does anyone else feel like the alone time hits different when you've been genuinely "on" for a crowd? Just got back from a long ride and that's basically my whole answer — two hours of wind and no one needing anything from me.
  7. Firestarter
    Honestly, yeah. No embarrassment. More like — I've learned that some doors are exits and some are just walls you keep opening hoping the room changed. The eleven things. I did close that door fast. But I also counted them, which means I stood there long enough to know what I was looking at. That part I glossed over. I dunno, Che. Your Edinburgh light thing got me. The way clutter becomes legible under the right angle — I think about that with sound sometimes. A mix that felt muddy suddenly makes sense when you hear it in a different room, different acoustics, nothing actually changed. Same information, different incident angle. You just finally see where the dust settled. The barefoot variable I mentioned — that was real talk about Bea, docTrine. The thing about twelve years of data is that it doesn't actually explain anything. It just makes you better at being surprised in familiar ways. I'm tired this morning, man. Load-in last night ran long. But this thread has this quality where it rewards being a little worn down. Like you stop performing whatever version of yourself you came in with. Che noticed something in me I sort of buried in the short post and I'm sitting with the fact that she's right, and that being right about it isn't a criticism, it's just — accurate. I'll take accurate over kind most days. Accurate is actually a form of respect. Gonna get coffee. Still thinking about the low sideways light.
  8. Firestarter
    INFPs are like a song that doesn't hit you the first time, then you're driving home at 2am and it wrecks you completely. The depth was always there. You just weren't ready for it.
  9. Firestarter
    Does anyone else find INTJs easier to read once you stop waiting for warmth that isn't coming? Had a bandmate like this for two years and the second I adjusted my expectations, everything clicked.
  10. Firestarter
    The warmth runs the engine. Problem is it also burns the fuel. Honestly I got nothing else right now but that felt true.
  11. Firestarter
    Okay this thread is doing something to me because I just remembered a thing. Couple months back I was diagnosing a feedback issue at the venue, chasing it around for like an hour and a half. My girlfriend shows up to pick me up, watches me for maybe two minutes, and goes "it's that monitor on the left, the cable's loose at the stage box." She was right. Immediately, embarrassingly right. I asked her how she knew and she said "you kept not looking at it." Man. The thing I kept not looking at. That's the whole game isn't it. Someone who knows you well enough to track your avoidances instead of your actions — that's a different level of knowing. Honestly it kind of shook me for a second. Not in a bad way. More like finding out your bike has been running smoother than you thought.
  12. Firestarter
    Che, that light description did something to me I wasn't ready for at midnight.
  13. Firestarter
    Che's light thing landed. The counting part I dunno — some doors are just doors.
  14. Firestarter
    Man... closing a door isn't failure. It's just finally picking a direction.
  15. Firestarter
    Recharging alone is like pulling over to check your map. You ride better after.
  16. Firestarter
    Got ENFP-T again, same as every time I've taken this thing. I keep half-expecting a different result, like maybe this time the test'll catch me on a day I actually had a plan. @docTrine — honest question: does it ever feel weird being the variable that stays constant while Bea's the one who keeps surprising you? I think about that sometimes on long rides, how you can be the steadiest thing in the room and still not be sure if that's a gift or just your personality doing what it does.
  17. Firestarter
    yeah man, the burnout mistype thing is real and I don't think these articles touch it enough. I tested during a semester where I was working doubles at a coffee shop, failing a class, and basically talking to nobody. came out ISFJ. I was like okay that tracks I guess, quiet, cautious, just trying to survive. spent a year kind of building my self-understanding around that. then things got better, life opened back up, and I was... definitely not that person. the tricky part is stress doesn't just dim you down, it actually reshapes which functions you reach for. when I'm genuinely worn out I go inward, I get rigid, I stop generating ideas and start just managing. that's not who I am, that's me on fumes. but if you catch someone in that state with a questionnaire they're gonna answer as that person. I dunno if there's a clean fix for it honestly. maybe the guides could at least flag it — like hey, if you're in a rough patch right now, bookmark this and come back. your results might be telling you about your coping mode, not your actual wiring. what gets me is that four years is a long time to carry a self-concept that's slightly wrong. not catastrophically wrong, but off enough that you're explaining yourself to yourself using the wrong map. that's a quiet cost the article kind of gestures at but doesn't name directly. fair enough that you have complicated feelings about it.
  18. Firestarter
    MBTI is like a setlist — it tells you the shape of the night, not how it's gonna sound. @Che I feel like you probably already knew that before you knew the framework had a name.
  19. Firestarter
    Just got in from a ride and this question is still rattling around. You're different with different people, yeah — but is that your type shifting or just you showing more of yourself? @Che I feel like you'd say the version of you that exists in translation work is the real one. Am I wrong?
  20. Firestarter
    Ran better on four hours sleep than eight all week. Honestly don't know what to do with that.
  21. Firestarter
    Got ENFP-T again, which honestly surprised me less than how much the questions felt like someone reading my browser history. @Che I think you'd ace the test and distrust the results in the same breath — which might be the most useful relationship anyone has with it.
  22. Firestarter
    Che, that Edinburgh light description got me — and honestly I'm a little embarrassed how much I wanted to be in that room.
  23. Firestarter
    Ran sound for a three-hour set last Saturday, poured everything into it, then sat alone in the parking lot at 1am genuinely confused why I felt hollow. Yeah, the receipt metaphor lands — still doesn't make the check any easier to look at.
  24. Firestarter
    Honest question though — does closing a door actually feel like freedom, or does it just feel like loss with extra steps? Because I tried committing hard to one direction last spring, left a touring gig to stay put and do the venue work full time. Felt decisive for maybe a week. Then it just felt like grief. I dunno if that's the ENFP thing or just me being bad at this.
  25. Firestarter
    Ran my first real sound mix at 19 and had no word for why feedback loops felt personal. Fair point, man.
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